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~ 2.01 - Jailhouse Rock ~ Nexus Cafe, Chicago IL Monday, June 23rd “I’m telling you, Shaun. It was the biggest disaster I’ve ever been a part of in a game. Not only did we fail to take down ‘The Master’, we lost the town’s Crystal as well. I know they were just a bunch of NPCs, but I liked them. I hope to see and talk to them again someday.” Kyle said.
“Sounds like you had an amazing experience, Kyle. I haven’t felt that way towards any of the NPCs I’ve met so far while playing. The Federation of Kings area just seems like a normal game to me. Julia and I have gone on quite a few quests together, but she’s blowing past me. She can play all day without worry, while I have to monitor the pods eight hours a day. She’s telling me about how she’s going to win the contest the kingdoms are putting out,” Shaun responded.
“What’s the reward for winning?”
“Something about extra spots for our race and a huge bonus for the winner’s character. They didn’t really spell it out for us.”
“Interesting; I wish we were allowed to record our gameplay. The Tower battle was insane and felt real, and that fucker Frustrated, blowing himself up with the town’s Crystal. I bet I’d had gotten a million hits on the first day.”
“It’s odd. Fantasy is the only game I’ve ever heard of not trying to promote itself through streamers and tubers. Their current methods are working regardless, word of mouth is pushing sales of pods, and interest in the Delve Neurolinks is sky-high. I just read yesterday that Neurolink is going to triple production by the end of the month, with the goal of fifty million units a month. Mom and dad bought the space next door and are expanding the cafe with another hundred and twenty capsules.”
“Wow, business will be good for you guys.”
“It will, but I’ve told them I’d like to be able to play more. My parents are going to need to hire some outside help with the new pods. No way a single person can monitor two hundred pods solo.”
“Has your mom or dad tried the game yet?”
“Mom has; she loves it but doesn’t have enough time in the day to play it. Dad said he’s waiting for that Outbreak zombie game to come out before he tries.”
“What’d your mom make for the special today?”
“Stuffed peppers and mashed potatoes, the real kind, not that flaky shit.”
“Oh, I’ll be right back then.”
Flea came back a few minutes later after grabbing a to-go box for his stuffed peppers and mash. He found Shaun talking with a cute short girl with brown hair and a button nose. Taking a seat next to Shaun, Kyle laid his head on Shaun’s shoulders.
“Why are you talking to my man?” Kyle said.
“What the hell, man?” Shaun stuttered out.
The girl grabbed her stomach as she laughed.
“Oh, Shaun, the look on your face was priceless. Who’s your friend?” she asked.
“Both of you are so not cool. Julia, this is Kyle, Kyle, Julia.”
Laughing, Kyle shook her hand.
“So, how do you like Fantasy so far?”
“I wish I could play it more, even while I’m sleeping. I would love to find a way to pay for a Delve Neurolink, but I’m going to be stuck using a pod for quite a long time. What part of the Federation of Kings are you playing in?”
“Oh, I’m not in the Federation of Kings. Actually, I have no idea where I’ll be playing once I log back in later today.”
“Oh, you have your chip already?”
“Yep, first batch.”
“Damn, I envy you. What’s your gameplay like?”
Kyle proceeded to tell his tale about Noto Island and how he and the players failed miserably at protecting the town from the necromancer of The Tower. Kyle explained to the two how the Crystals worked in each of the cities and villages, and when he’s able to respawn in an hour. He could be sent to any town or city on Mea.
They continued telling one another stories of their gameplay so far. Kyle found out Julia was aiming to be a druid. She told him about one of the temples within her kingdom with skill cores for sale, allowing players to shapeshift into different animals, but she hadn't made it to level 10 yet.
Kyle warned both of them to make sure they were naked and inside a bath when they hit level 10. He continued to explain the issues with gaining that first Mana Gate. Shaun and Julia immediately exploded with inquiries.
“Guess the cats out of the bag. Please don’t tell anyone about me. I’m afraid of what people will do to try and bring me down a peg,” Kyle said.
“I won’t tell anyone. I wish you could fast travel to us and help us out with power leveling,” Julia said.
“Never know. I might spawn in your Federation of Kings when I log back into the game.”
“When can you respawn and find out?”
“Bob, how much longer on my lockout?”
[
Little over thirty-six minutes, Kyle.]
“I have thirty-six minutes.”
“You named your AI, Bob?” Both Shaun and Julia asked at the same time.
“Yea, I just used his serial number to name him. What did you expect me to name him, Jarvis or Alfred?”
[
Oh, I like Jarvis, why did you not name me Jarvis?]
“I’m sorry, Bob. Do you want me to change your name?”
[
Negative, I was trying out another joke.]
The trio continued speaking about Fantasy for a little longer. Checking the time, Kyle excused himself, threw away his take away container, and headed for home.
After making sure to shower and use the facilities, he went to his bed and logged into his MicroWorld. Standing at the door to Fantasy, he stared at the timer as it counted down, waiting for the final minute to slowly tick away.
Waiting three minutes here for one minute to pass in Fantasy blows. “Bob, when I’m waiting on a lockout, could you speed up time within the Microworld so it’s in sync with Fantasy? I hate waiting longer for the lockouts.”
[Sure thing, Kyle.] As the timer reached zero, Flea opened the door, ready to walk through. Before he could take a step, a notification popped up at the bottom right of his vision. Stopping himself from walking through the door, Flea opened it, revealing an email from Elenmel.
Mail: To Flea - From Elenmel Flea!
I am happy to hear you’re playing Fantasy. Ken and I are playing as well. We took part in a new medical capsule trial and are currently living permanently on our joint MicroWorld. The trial we’ve joined is a year long. In three months, we will be taken out for the first round of testing.
We’re currently staying in a small village on the west coast of Ranotite called Fomin. If you can figure out where that is, we would love for you to find us and play together. I have limited access to the mail system as I’m never on our MicroWorld. I only send out this email and some others to the guild while waiting for my death lockout. I’d invite you to our MicroWorld, but we are rarely here unless one of us dies.
Hope to see you soon,
Elenmel.
Flea was beyond happy. He now knew where Iron and Elen were and had a chance to see them again, possibly. Flea asked Bob to make a note of their location so he could find it and visit them. Flea replied to the email, sending his love and letting her know he would follow up with them again once he figured out where he and they were in the world.
With his day now looking brighter than it had, Flea walked through the door to wherever fate would lead him. Opening his eyes and looking around, he found himself at the center of a town right out of medieval Europe. The buildings were all constructed out of timber, wattle, and daub. Each floor being slightly larger and hanging over the floor below it.
Reaching to touch the Crystal, he received its miniature respawn version. Looking into his bag, he found the town’s name to be Dustgrove. Flea turned around, ready to start walking around and learning about this new town, but was stopped by the tip of a spear at his throat. The guard at the other end of the spear started blowing into a whistle, causing long, loud-shrilling bursts of sound.
Spitting out the whistle, the guard started yelling at Flea to lay on the ground. When the other guards came running over, the spear-wielding guard yelled at them to get more backup and chain Flea up.
“What the hell is going on? What did I do?” Flea yelled.
“Shut up, necromancer. Coming into our town while carrying necromantic items is a breach of the Undead Accords. You’ll be sentenced to the mines for this.”
“What are you talking about? I just died on Noto Island, where a necromancer’s sons destroyed the town. Are you sure it’s not from being near them? I’m not a necromancer, I swear! I just started playing the game two weeks ago.”
The guard gave Flea a puzzled look, then removed an amulet from around his neck. He brought it close, holding it over Flea, then slowly moved down towards his magic bag. When the charm got closer to Flea’s bag, it started glowing a bright white. Returning the amulet to his neck, the guard told the others there was something in Flea’s magic bag. He ordered them to take Flea to the cells, and they would sort things out there.
Flea found himself tossed into a very dank smelling cell, with straw spread on its floor. Getting to his feet, Flea tried to plead with the guard to tell him what was going on. The Gnome got nothing but the guard’s back as he walked away.
Flea was forced to wait an hour within the cell before an older Eleven guard came to stand in front of his cell. Flea felt his gaze on him for a while before the Elf spoke.
“You don’t look like much of a necromancer, Gnome,” the Elf said with palpable disdain.
“That’s because I’m not a necromancer. I just got killed trying to destroy one at the last town I was staying in.”
“Then why is it you hold an item of necromantic magic?”
“I have no such...” Flea stopped himself as he realized what he had.
“Figure something out, did you?”
“Yea, I did. I swiped a damn book while the brothers had their backs turned. I believe that is what your guard detected. I had no idea what it was at the time.”
“Regardless, you brought it into our town, and by The Accords, you will be punished.”
“Can’t I just give it to you?” Flea said as he took it out to hand to the guard.
The guard took a step back as he cursed and yelled for assistance. Three guards were within his cell in an instant, holding him to the ground with their spears. Dropping the book to the ground, Flea tried to scream as something clamped around his neck, but not a sound came out.
The older guard took a white cloth from his pocket and used it to pick up the book’s corner, and then placed it into a chest a guard was holding open.
“Take him to the mine. The town will never know what this Gnome could have brought down on us. I will inform the baron and have this book destroyed.”
Flea was dragged by the shoulders outside and then thrown into the back of a wooden carriage with metal bars across the windows and a metal door. The Gnome had been in the back of the carriage for what seemed like hours before it finally stopped. The guards opened the door and dragged him out. Every time Flea tried to speak to the guards, nothing but gurgles escaped his throat.
Entering a large gate attached to a stone and wooden palisade, Flea found himself in what he could only describe as a makeshift concentration camp. There were four identical large cabins, all in various stages of disrepair, near the entrance of the cave’s mouth. A larger and cleaner looking barracks was to the right of the gate they had just entered. There was a Crystal, like the one back at the town, in front of the barracks. Unlike the one in town, this Crystal was bright red. As the guards dragged him towards the red Crystal, a massive Orc came from the barracks’ door.
“New blood today, boys?”
“Yes, sir. This dumbshit brought a Book of the Dead into the town with him. The captain wants him maxed on the sentence.”
“Oh, what a terrible mistake for you to make, but a great mistake for my purse string,” the Orc chuckled.
The guards dragged him closer to the Crystal, while the Orc pulled a very ornate looking dagger from his bag. Taking Flea’s hand, the Orc cut the Gnome’s palm and forced it upon the red Crystal. When his hand made contact, a notification popped up.
You have committed a crime within Dustgrove and sentenced to a one-year labor contract for bringing a banned artifact within Dustgrove. Failure of the completion of the one-year contract will eject and ban you from The Games. The warden has placed the maximum price of 50 gold as the buyout for your sentence.
The guards then removed the collar from around Flea’s neck, allowing him to hear his voice once more.
“An entire year for bringing a book into town? That’s insane. Why would the game punish someone like this?”
“Be glad you didn’t bring it into one of the capitals. They have the power to remove you from The Games right away for such a crime.”
“How hard is it to make the 50 gold to buy out my sentence?”
“Well, you can sell us any ore, after you’ve turned in your 20 iron ore each day, at 3 copper apiece. How fast can you mine around 167,000 ore? You could get lucky and find a gem or two. We’ll give you some gold pieces for those. But I’d plan on being here for that entire year,” the Orc said cheerfully.
The warden told the guards to take Flea to cabin four and let him sleep the night away before starting his sentence tomorrow. Getting to the cabin, the guards removed Flea’s shackles and allowed him to enter. They informed him not to try to escape, or he’d be killed as soon as he passed the Crystal boundary. Racking up deaths on his lockout wouldn’t do him any favors for meeting his daily quota. They also let him know someone would soon be by to explain the rules of his sentence.
It didn’t take long after the guards left him for a Canine Beastkin to come into the cabin. The Beastkin had the look of a short German shepherd, but still two heads taller than Flea.
“Welcome to Warden Or’loc’s paradise, as the Orc says. I’m Uglar, mine's foreman. I’m here to explain to you how things work around here. That red Crystal outside they had you place your bloody hand onto is called a Retribution Crystal. It allows those in leadership roles of towns and cities to enforce punishment on The Game’s players.”
“You’ll find smaller versions of them around the mountain and the palisade surrounding the camp. If you cross this boundary, you’ll find yourself instantly snuffed. For thirty minutes after every morning’s day’s start bells, you can find food at the main campfire. Once those thirty minutes are up, they remove the food. Make sure you eat every day, or it gets harder to meet your quota. That said, you are required to bring twenty chunks of iron back with you to turn in at the afternoon’s day end bells. If you fail this requirement, they will double your next day’s quota and deny you food. If you do this too many times, you’ll start to fall far behind and eventually fail the terms of the Retribution Contract. You never want that to happen, trust me.” Uglar explained.
Well, fuck me. Prison themed gameplay. I never understood why people loved to play these types of games. I hope Khorwin, Martina, and Niseph got sent to someplace better than this. submitted by I've been going through the seasons since they've been added to CBS all access. I'm a long time Big Brother and Survivor fan that has more recently lapsed on Big Brother. With the season being shit I decided to use All Access to finally dive in to The Challenge. These posts are mostly stream of conscious as I watch the episodes, some times with little context. Check out my posts for past seasons and a TLDR at the end. Thanks for checking these out!
I apologize a head of time if some comments go a little off base, these are purely just assumptions and first impressions a lot of times.
EP 1: Laurel!
Oh shit, Laurel and Camila fighting. Ready for that!
CT! I love this season already!
Is this like Ruins 2? Contenders vs Champs or old school vs new school
Smashley looks less meth-ey
Jenna jokes starting out of the jump
A new Theo? Got a lot to live up to with that name rookie.
Fucking Shane? God damn, that’s a blast from the past.
I was wrong, it’s Island 2 lol
I’m...kind of shocked to see Tony again?
Actually happy to see Amanda again, hope see more out of her this time around than just starting drama. I’d like to remember her for more than just being the freckle girl.
“Hardest challenge ever.” I’ve heard that before…
I take it back, confessional Smashley looks just as Meth-ey as ever.
Aww, the clapping when TJ says the old dogs aren’t there. The naivety.
Fucking Johnny again. Give me some alliance between Laurel, Cara, CT and Darrel to get Johnny out and it will be my dream come true.
Is this the beginning of dad bod CT?
This Hunter fucker looks like he’s built like a damn foosball player
Oh, a Miz wannabe…
There are multiple people I’m seeing “2nd Challenge” on their name card and I have no damn clue who they are.
“She said it was the challenge or her, and I chose the challenge.” Chick….you chose wrong. I don’t care if the girlfriend is shit for giving you the ultimatum, but you still chose wrong lmao
Shane getting naked, yeah it’s really Shane.
In a broken ass hut, but they’re still getting catering and copious amounts of alcohol lol
Zach….You act like you’ve been away forever lol you were off for like 2 seasons dude. Also “Make the challenge great again” Fucking really? You would be the furthest thing from Challenge in its heyday. You were in like 2 of its worst seasons.
Fucking Dario, I really can’t take him.
I’m sad to see no Devin from last season. Wanted to see more of him.
This seriously feels like Island 2 lol I contend that Island 2 had an interesting concept but Kenny/Johnny and their alliance just ruined it. The survivor elements really just put a damper on it too.
“It’s a clue!” Bitch, just call it treemail!
Early impressions of Theo is I like him.
Finally, multiple color jerseys.
I have to assume very shortly everyone will be in the oasis, they won’t want to run two full crews.
Hopefully Bruno is coming in with that homeless hungry energy.
Saying there’s two teams when people are just piling dirt on a collective pile? Lol
Ashley going for herself?! Somewhere Johnny is using this to validate him taking the money from Sarah.
Hahaha Ashley just climbing through after people helping her dig haha She looks like she’s the one bringing the homeless hungry energy.
Damn, how did Cory go from dead last to second finish?
I swear Ashley was shown as being in first place multiple times, but now she’s in the middle of a huge pack.
Nelson is coming in to these confessionals like he has some kind of vendetta lol Like he’s building a case against someone. First it was how he views Cory as his boy and he wasn’t going to leave him hanging, and now he’s complaining about Tony leaving Bruno behind.
Bruno, disappointing with the lack of homeless hungry energy.
Why is Nelson so damn angry? Lol Everyone is yelling at Bruno and Tony’s the only one like “No, leave him alone.” and Nelson wants to bitch about Tony not talking to him? Everyone is, what is one more voice?
Eww, you got mud all over your face, don’t sit there and lick your lips.
Why such a short first episode?! Only 40 minutes? What is this Gauntlet 3?!
EP 2: They’re even getting laundry service?! Lol What a weak ass Island rip-off!
Why is Nelson so damn angry?! He was seriously not this way at all last season lol
Jenna getting in on the trash talk! “We forgot you were here like 3 times!” lol I can’t tell if it’s a dig or if Jenna just literally forgot someone existed
Nelson seriously seems like a completely different person to last season.
“I’m just going to be there for Kailah to vent” proceeds to tell her how to play and what she did was wrong lol not alot of venting going on.
If this whole Oasis twist is just whittling down the amount of contenders to go against the Champions I will be pissed. If it’s just like a contingency so the rookies don’t out number and gang up on the old school players or something.
There’s something about the out and out team aspect going on that I’m liking, but not liking at the same time lol Everyone just ganging up and telling Sylvia how to vote is just weird. I’m all for sides, but once the vote comes the talking should end.
Latoya with the hypocrisy calling someone else a camera whore lol bitch you called yourself “THE Latoya” like you’re ohio state or some shit.
“It’s your vote, you can decide who you want to vote for.” Provided it’s the vote that 4 other girls are yelling at you to make…yeah, your vote.
I’m happy to see Darrel back.
Who is this Ashley chick?! Oh, from Seasons, ugh.
Ah Kenny, not gonna lie I’m starting to miss Evan and Kenny. Yeah, they’re shit bags, but they’re entertaining. These last couple groups of rookies have been trash.
Cara looking even more ripped.
CT’s baby! Awwwwwwwww
Is Laurel coming in being like the third ranked girl in athleticism of these champs?
Exile style elimination with no arena with people watching? Mixed emotions on this.
Kailah looks like she talks a big game, but won’t be able to back it up. Marie looks like she’s got some crazy in her.
With these two girls, this elim looks like shit. With some strong guys fighting the whole time it could be interesting, but this was bleh.
Bruno, back to being homeless.
This hut is going to be angry with the people returning and having earned their way into the actual game.
I hope the alliance realizes they literally just screwed like half their numbers out of their chance at the real game lol
You can tell these people are dumb rookies, or they’d realize the object is to get their alliance in the elim vs shitty people to win their ticket.
EP 3: “I want to start a talk show. There is no millennial Oprah.” Because they don’t watch them, they listen to podcasts. You’re the worst millennial.
Of course the Foosball guy would like meth hulk Smashley.
They don’t even have to compete, this seriously is just a play-in game.
Yeah, my money’s on Jenna/Cory
CT and Darrell with their kids is absolutely adorable.
Amanda has a weird trashy quality to her, but god damn is she pretty as hell.
“I don’t care if I lose my teeth, I’m getting this bag open!” spoken like a true methhead!
I was really hoping to not see more of foosball boy.
These people still aren’t understanding the game is getting the tickets. You either win or win an elimination. Half these people are going to be real disappointed.
I feel like Cory has realized it, and wanting to go in to elim.
I’m with Theo, we’ve seen Cory’s fake muscles at work plenty of times. We saw him lose to 80 pound Christina and weird punk hipster kid in a competition purely based on pushing and holding on to a bar lol
Not gonna lie, I’m kind of liking the feel of this cast developing naturally without a bunch of vets around to control the game.
The suspense is kinda dead on this girl elim, because it showed Jenna in the oasis in the previews.
I’m interested in this guy elim though.
Slip of the tongue? “I’m going to go against her and she’s going to come back limping!” so...you’re saying she’s the one coming back but you’re going to hurt her? Lol the object is to come back, not just hurt the person. Not sure if you know this, but Jenna is an elimination god.
It’s...it’s just holding balls?
Fucking Theo. Dude… I was actually hoping to see more of you. What a bitch.
With the object of the challenge being to hold on to balls, I was expecting some kind of bounce or jarring of the person to have them possibly drop them.
I have come around on Jenna so damn much. She literally approaches every challenge like it’s absolutely nothing. Everything is easy for her when she doesn’t even think about it lol
Hahahaha they really just slowly let Theo down to be laughed at! Haha I love it!
I would love if Theo still had to jump to get down lol
Well at least it isn’t 8 vs 8, there’s one more challenge so it will at least be 10 or 12 vs 8, not like Cory and Jenna aren’t basically vets at this point.
EP 4: Fingers crossed on Amanda being the next ticket holder and not Smashley.
The weird open beach macking is weird.
Please, of all people please don’t let Latoya get this ticket.
Ok, my money is on Amanda and Shane being the two winners here to get their tickets. This is one of the random elimination style challenges that Shane and Amanda have experience in.
Man, Nelson bothers me this season. I don’t get it, but his confessionals are annoying.
https://i.imgur.com/VvcJWiB.png Can we talk about the like 30 people standing in the background during this challenge? Lol there was more than this screenshot, but this was the best shot. The amount of people just standing around is kind of hilarious.
Shane is halfway gone and Nelson and the other dude have barely moved.
Nelson is another fucking “fustrated” guy. Dammit! What is it with this show and people who can’t pronounce frustrated. Is that the second question after “are you an angry drunk” when casting?
How the hell did this dude come back out of nowhere? Lol
Wow, that was an awesome finish.
First time I’ve seen a challenge sponsored in a while. Burger King! Jenna’s just hoping there’s chicken nuggets.
No onion rings? No deal!
Nelson with the pity party. I thought I liked the small bits of Nelson last season, but apparently Nelson in small doses is easier to take.
Darrel, don’t talk up your game. Bananas is already targeting you as number one. Don’t even joke.
Laurel doesn’t look like she’s coming in at her fittest. But I’d still bet on her in most cases.
Looks like the last pre-game elim is a mini final kinda? Sylvia already basically crawling on hands and knees lol
Sylvia got to the top, I’m honestly shocked.
I would literally jump off a plane, jump over a cliff, anything to do with heights, but running down some steep stone stairs in the rain? That shit would scare the hell out of me. There’s not the safety lines there, I’ve broken too many limbs.
All the people watching this like “Is my culture a joke to you?”
Yes! Sylvia! Shocked, and happy! I just hope she realizes her alliance she made is not only not in the Oasis, but didn’t help her get there lol
Can we just introduce a new rule and neither of these guys go in the house?
Did we really need to watch Nicole lick peanut butter off of a giant spoon?
I forgot Dario was here.
“To Jenna, not having an ex here.” Oh buddy…
Fuck, I also forgot this dumb foosball fuck
I wish I could have TJ telling me he’s proud of me each day. He looks like he means it.
Dad-bod CT!!
I know Paulie from Big Brother is eventually on this show, but it’s hilarious to me that Johnny in this last confessional before the episode ends looks so damn much like Paulie. The tufted hair, the short beard.
EP 5: I’m tired of seeing god awful commercials trying to hype up a god awful Big Brother all-stars.
Underdogs vs Champions, nice
I literally don’t recognize this Ashley chick at all.
Does battling against your own team kind of defeat the purpose of teams?
Camila with the completely see thru shirt in confessional lol
Surprised they’re actually making it seem fair. 4 v 6 in challenges.
Ugh, I don’t want Nicole to talk anymore.
Speaking of mean laurel, can we get an update on the Cara/Laurel friendship?
Oh fuck yeah, this is the type of challenges I want to see.
I keep forgetting Champ Ashley even exists. Has she had a confessional?
Laurel and Camila look like the only ones coming in to this challenge like they want to kill people. Cara and Ashley just seem to get tackled and sit on the ground.
Darrel looks entirely unintimidated lol the other guys are hunched down ready to run and Darrel is standing casually like he’s waiting for an uber lmao
I’m here for dad-bod CT tackling people.
I’m with Tony, take the chance to knock the fuck out of Bananas.
“I think I’m known for being the most physical dominating person from the challenge” hahahahahaha Zach I don’t even think you’d be in the conversation.
I am weirded out by this casual chill CT. In confessional’s with his leg up and just chilling.
The ollyoop to Darrel!!
This may be one of the best challenges. This is an amazing way to start the actual game.
Well the last point was kind of anticlimactic.
Nicole coming on STRONG right out of the gate for Cara, Damn girl.
Zach just casually walking by Jenna saying “Hey, whats up” just feels so fucked.
I forgot how coked out Shane looks all the time. Something about his eyes.
Nicole looks like Andy Dick hahahahahahaha oh shit!
I love that the vets are just sitting by laughing at everyone scrambling knowing god damn well that they will be doing the same thing the next day lol
Ass, ass, ass for days. Maybe the assiest cast so far.
Kailah literally needing to be put in pants and in bed. Oh my god she pisses her bed! God damn.
Pissing the bed is a deal breaker? That’s kinda weak though.
CT yelling at Johnny to fix it lmao
Dude, Zach trying to talk shit about CT?! Lmao Saying he didn’t tackle anyone? Zach of all people shouldn’t be talking shit.
“I’m not drinking anymore.” “Well I’ve heard that since day one…”
You’re in the challenge house and going to throw stones at people getting black out drunk?? Lol What show are you on? This guy has a pattern of trashing on girls in an instant.
Oh god, I can’t unsee Andy Dick after Bananas mentioned it. Nicole is now forever Andy Dick.
EP 6: This Andy Dick crush. Cara is definitely leaning in to it.
I oddly have a defensiveness for Jenna. She’s too stupid. Leave her alone Zach. She’s too sweet and dumb!
I am 100% Laurel in the background giving weird confused looks to Jenna and Zach talking.
Kailah just saying she basically rapes people…
What is this weird Nelson insanity? I already said his confessionals come off like he’s angry lol
I feel like all these mentions of Tony being sober is just leading up to the point that he breaks.
Camila trying to be a Don boss or something lol “It’s invasion sister, I could invade your game.”
Sweet Dad-bod CT is the best. Just don’t let him go out too early!
Jenna! Get out of Zach’s bed!!!!
I really can’t see Shane going this early. To bring him back after this long and he goes out like 5 episodes in right when the actual game starts?
Oh no, the foosball guy doesn’t like Kailah lol He likes Ashley though, I’m not sure what that says.
This shelter alliance is kinda dumb…
The Fortress lol Cool place, weird name.
Holy shit, this Tuk Tuk challenge would be exhausting.
Sylvia’s got more weight to throw in to it, but she’ll probably gas out way faster.
Camila is coming in to this season looking great.
Damn, Sylvia way ahead. She killed it.
Yelling boo, is maybe the dumbest thing to do lol
Really thought something was going to come of the sober Tony story.
If I look at the alliance of Smashley, Amanda, Shane and Foosball, except for Nelson I’d say this is some weird white trash or druggy alliance lmao
“There’s onlly a divide because people like you say there’s a divide.” lol You guys got upset because a few people piled fucking dirt together lol
I can’t take confessional Johnny looking like a weird knockoff Paulie Califiori… Why does he look so different in his confessionals? Did he only come in to do his confessionals after the season?
Shane is on some weird ass shit with his “Why do I care about a strong team, if I’m not here to win” or whatever he’s on lol Are you just saying you want to go as far as possible and not care about winning? I feel like his mentality is stuck back in the olden days where winning wasn’t all that much money.
What the fuck kind of high school rumor mill bullshit is this? Lol
Why does Jenna give a shit for even a second what Zach things. Girl, stop this now. Be mad about the girls rumor mongering for no reason, don’t give a shit about Zach the dude that literally cheated on you and didn’t even break up with you but just ghosted you while you were on a damn season.
Stop caring about Zach!!!!
EP 7: Laurel, Camil and Ashley, just swimmin naked in the morning. All normal.
This fuckin’ foosball guy…
Smashley really about to get mad at Cara for randomly joking with Foosball?
Smashley is so damn insane. “Piss in your pants bitch!”
I stan Laurel. “It’s not fucking about him! It’s about you!” Thank you Laurel!
Oh, this is cool.
Wait, why is only the champs winners safe from elim? Why only them?! I don’t like this arbitrary bullshit.
I feel like Camila is giving strong winner vibes off in her confessionals. She seems so like a godfather or some shit. It’s not her normal schtick. Are all the champs just getting more care and time in the makeup room for confessionals? Also, why has Ashley and Darrel been so absent from confessionals? They’ve each had like 2 when Camila has had 20 to talk about the most basic stuff.
Good god, Nelson and Amanda looked godawful, down in seconds lmao
Why does Johnny somehow always get the best teammates?
CT stirring the pot between Cara and Bananas lol I love this new CT
Cara out immediately, so much for that.
I think I’m confused on how the points and times are handled on this lol
Sure, just go ahead and sit back and let Johnny win immunity. Sure. Perfect.
Please show the flashback of Laurel saying “How do you think Sam felt!?” to Zach.
“I’m not really a douchebag.” says the douchebag
Literally will only be happy if Zach and Ashley go home.
I literally just remembered the CT and Cara friendship that came out of Free Agents. He had a cute older brother type thing going.
“Why?” “Cause you’re making me.” Darrel is still a threat
I will not be happy if Darrel or Cara leave right now. This season will be on a sudden trend down.
Pole wrestle!!!!!! Oh Shittttttttttttttt Wasn’t Darrel in an epic bar wrestle in one of the old seasons?
Oh shit, the champ elims are all classic! That’s awesome.
Oh, guess I was thinking of Wes and Derrick in Duel. I for some reason associated Darrel with that.
“I’m here to win the money.” “Why?” “Because I like winning money.” Darrell just not dealing with TJ’s questions lol
Yeah, Pole wrestling gives me hope for Cara and Darrell.
Ashley looks like she’s barely even there. Did they give her some pain killers after the last challenge or something?
I swear if Darrell leaves I will be angry. It’s been too long without Darrell for him to go this soon.
It starts and Darrell barely even moves to what looks like Zachs full force.
Lets go Darrell!!! 1 down, let’s go.
Darrell got it! Let’s fuckin’ go!
Jenna, you’re better off. Please wise up.
Don’t you dare call Darrel ‘David’ and Zach ‘Goliath’, CT you’re better than that.
Ya’ll remember Zach saying he was probably the most physical dominating challenger? Lol
Literally the best possible outcome. I love this.
EP 8: “In a perfect world; we go head to head in the end.” I would love to watch Darrell beat Johnny.
Camila and bathrooms…
The rumor mongers being paranoid is a funny turn. Shane is a vet, how would you think he wouldn’t hang around some of the other vets? What does him hanging with vets even affect?!
Laurel hasn’t done an eating challenge? Wasn’t there an eating part of the final on Rivals? The one Kenny had to carry Wes up the mountain after eating?
God damn they do LOVE showing copious amounts of vomiting.
Camila is excited to see some puking…
I like how they put buckets there, like anyone is gonna aim for the bucket lmao
CT and Darrell talking about it being good, the Underdogs instantly puking.
Shane talking mad shit. About to see himself get voted in the fortress.
Shane bitching at all is hypocritical. He was the one that said it made no sense for a strong team if he’s not there for the money or some dumb shit.
Fuckin Foosball is booking. Damn.
Did foosball just say he has immunity he’s not helping with the puzzle?
“It’s just curry bruh.” I love Darrell. I am so happy he’s back on The Challenge.
Hey what do you know, Johnny wanting to cause disruption and outrage.
These Underdogs continue to be hilarious. It’s like some kind of weird cult where if you say anything that everyone doesn't know about or agree with you’re instantly cut out.
Johnny continues the run of bullshit. Taking a toilet seat? What kind of weird frat house hazing is this?
Say it loud, say it proud, JOHNNY IS A BULLY!
Either you’re quitting Sylvia or you’re severely underestimating Jenna.
Dario looks like a joke like he did on Bloodlines lol Anything involving thought in an elimination and the dude is just screwed.
Jenna is a comp beast. Period lol How did Jenna come in with the best technique and just blow through it? Lol
Cara is right, they just made the underdogs stronger losing Sylvia and Dario.
Quit calling bullying, pranks! If you’re doing it consistently and to the same people repeatedly it’s just bullying. If it was reversed Camila and Laurel would be the first two people too lose their fucking minds. It’s like they forget back to FM1+2 when they were bullied and now they’re in the upperclassmens role and have to continue the bullying.
EP 9: Well, that’s certainly a start to the episode.
Ok, Camila is at least bi-curious.
Now Andy Dick is trying to hit on Laurel? Damn, get it girl.
Wait, didn’t we just have like 2 episodes of Cara saying she wasn’t in to girls? Literally because of the same chick?
“It’s good seeing you two get along.” I love dad CT!!!
Oh, I see what it’s doing…Love triangle!!!!! Look, just cut out the middle person. Cara, Laurel, hook up!
“Amanda!....It’s funny!” I always enjoy when bitch Laurel comes out.
Camila is back with “Freckle motherfucker!!”
“It’s initiation! Get fucking used to it!” Bitch Laurel is the BEEEEESSSSSST She’s still wrong though. It’s bullying and dumb. Just because you can look at something and rationalize it as everyone goes through it doesn’t mean it’s right or ok. It’s still bullshit and bullying.
It’s so weird that they have full blown security at this point lol
CT calling Johnny out! Haha I love Dad CT. “When did I start fires and walk away?” “Are you serious? That’s all you do!” haha CT ain’t having none of this Johnny bullshit.
Andy Dick is really coming off as in love with herself. Geesh
This is a cool Challenge. Yeah, Laurel if everyone is hanging on you you just fall and take out all the Underdogs.
Aw, I thought Camila was being smart lol They talk her to unwind herself.
I like that the underdogs came in to the comp being smart and the vet guys are upset about it lol
One foot between determining the guys? What? Darrell and Johnny seemed to be taken down and then CT with the rest of the guys? Didn’t even seem close. Oh I guess Johnny and CT were both brought down by Shane.
Bummed to be losing Laurel or Cara.
So much for Johnny vs Darrell in the final lol
It seems weird that they basically have the underdogs whittled down before bringing in the Champs but then to lose two at a time. I’m not against it, it just seems like they’d make one decision and then go on to make the other decision.
Andy Dicks “Flirt” sounds like “Flick”
Laurel basically sees the situation as more serious because it’s basically her first encounter with these feelings and Andy Dick views it differently because it’s not new or special for her. Understandable on both ends.
Darrell, kick Johnny’s ASS!
Johnny, you didn’t have to wait to become the villain.
This whole weird “Who/what/why are you doing it thing of TJ’s is not it.”
Is a call back to Free Agents really all that classic? It’s an awesome battle to see these matchups.
I always wondered why no one else tried to shoot it. This barrel hole at least seems smaller than it did in Free Agents.
“I don’t think Bananas has ever been tested like this.” He was, he just got turned into a backpack and made into one of the most hilarious moments.
EP 10: Happy to see Bananas go. Thank you Challenge gods!
Cara stopping it with her foot!
Laurel with the brutal headlock. God damn!
I think the only thing about Cara that annoys me is the socks she wears. I hate the ugly knee socks with shamrocks and shit on em.
Andy Dick smiling while Laurel and Cara 69 basically.
Laurel continues to dominate. She had the reach and size though.
“It’s hard to celebrate the win.” Laurel says as she runs away after her point and puffs up her chest lol
4 champs left and 8 underdogs seems like a shit unbalance. I continue to just be surprised by the weird decisions of production.
Andy DIck about to get a taste of Bitch Laurel. Good luck!
Side note: When did Andy Dick kind of like blend in with the underdog alliance? She was always just as hated as Tony, Cory, Kailah and them, but somehow Andy Dick never gets lumped in with them anymore.
“It doesn’t bother me!” She says repeatedly, showing it definitely bothers her.
I don’t know what’s the worst look. Shane with his shirt off at all times, or Nelson in this weird ass fucking black cowboy hat haha
Oh my god. Laurel and CT are the loves of my life. Foosball yelling about who can beat him and Laurel makes an ugly face in the background and CT waves his hand and points to himself. CT has a dad bod, but he isn’t any less of a monster.
You can tell Shane thought he had gold with that “America’s Dirtbag” line because he uses it probably 5 times.
I don’t know where the line is on going too mean or too past certain lines, but Shane really seems to me like a coke head at the absolute end of his rope that will be desperate as he has to be and would literally shiv some motherfuckers if he had to.
I am really thinking Camila is the winner of this season. I don’t know if I’m way off, but this is the first time I’ve felt this strong of a winners edit from this show the whole time. Camila hasn’t had this many confessionals and stories even on the past seasons she has won.
I wish I cared about Andy Dick and Laurel. I love Laurel, but Dick is kind of annoying.
Wait...Of all the times to not have an elimination? Seems odd.
Make pairs. CT instantly “Guys, I don’t care.”
Why is there so much of this personal cam stuff this season? People keep having these selfie videos, I thought it was just a Bananas thing at first, but it’s persisted.
I think this is one of those comps that is way harder than they make it look. Just hanging on the tubes is going to tire you out, climbing across them and then having to pull yourself up a rope?
I need closed captioning for Foosball and Smashley way too often.
Camila looks like she’s halfway to just standing the hell up and running across these tubes.
That round of CT and Camila seemed like the waves were suddenly teen times worse when they got to the flag?
Cory completely in the water and pulling himself back up? That’s tough.
“It all comes down to Jenna.” Ohhhh it comes down to the time. I had complete faith in Jenna.
TJ throwing a house party instead of an elim? Bah, get these shitty Underdogs out of here.
“Something fishy’s going on.”
Camila calling Laurel humble lmao
Underdog BLOODBATH. YES YES YES YES!!!!!
EP 11: I don’t give a fuck where you’re from foosball! Go back home!
Holy Hell Camila is looking hot as hell this season.
Finally, they just kiss and get it over with!
Was hoping for another kind of mini final for the bloodbath.
Everyone is going to the fortress? Damn, they’re cuttin down in half quick.
Jenna: “I’m just here for the final” Damn straight, that’s what you do! Lol
Laurel not pulling punches, thinking Andy Dick is going home.
Nelson and Foosball out here seriously not understanding rows and columbs lmao
45 fucking minutes!!! An hour and a fucking half and no one is done lmao Wow people
TJ getting tired and telling people to add them up before asking for a check.
Almost two hours for the first one to complete. Good god.
Goodbye Foosball!
I literally have zero doubt that Jenna will be in this final lol
“Ashley looks like she’s in an argument with a split personality right now.” When did CT become the best narrator?
Jenna, eliminated for the first time ever!!!! Shit, that’s a bummer.
“I never went home before, so it’s a little upsetting!”
Amanda and Smashley are huge fucking shit talkers this season lol jesus.
Looks like a 3 way elim?
Seeing everyone run and then bounce back once they hit the wall will never get old.
They just aren’t realizing what the Gauntlet 3(I think? Maybe Duel?) guys did and just team up against Nicole?
Good god, it took 40 minutes and Shane telling them how to do it to realize they could get an easy win.
I didn’t realize it was a restart. Ashley fucked over Amanda for sure lmao
Looks like Amanda actually got the first one. Nicole’s so wrapped up in powering over Amanda she’s not worrying about actually being quick.
Ohhh, Nicole by technicality.
Damn, Nelson just played them both. He had that shit in seconds.
Don’t tell me Nelson gets the win and then is the first to throw a punch. Lmao I’ve said all season his confessionals look like he’s angry and has a vendetta.
EP 12: Oh, he goes to punch and misses. Lucky idiot.
What was Shane even doing?
Nelson is absolutely terrible at confrontation, or conversations starting with a disagreement. He just kind of quietly yells the same things over and over.
Don’t show her lick the peanut butter spoon again! Dammit!
She ate moldy peanut butter!
CT trying to stir the pot between Laurel and Andy Dick lol
I feel like everyone is joking and finding this funny except for Andy Dick. She’s so mad about an almost empty thing of peanut butter from weeks ago lol
This looks like a cool ass challenge. Like an escape room, but literally.
Camila:“No yelling! CT...” “Me? You gotta lot of nerve.”
I feel like forcefully kicking the door in is kind of breaking the challenge… lol Literally the door isn’t even supposed to go that way! I feel like this would have been a DQ in the old days lol
How did CT realize the coconuts were going to fall when they opened the door? Had the underdogs already opened theirs and it just didn’t show that in editing?
At least Camila noticed it. They literally forced a door the wrong way to not have to dig in the sand. I’m usually against vets getting treatment or anything by default, but that feels like a DQ.
Fucking “Fustrated” rears it’s damn head again.
There is not a chance in hell this Laurel/Andy Dick relationship goes anywhere.
Bug in broccoli being a glimpse at Smashley in the final?
TJ tells the Champs they’re in the final, but didn’t say that to the Underdogs.
I can’t tell if Camila is being smart or dumb carrying the whole bundle of rope.
Laurel’s taken almost 5 minutes just to get all the rope over the top?
Both of these look like nothing compared to any of these tangles in the past.
I feel like these knot elims are just all over the place with editing. It’s felt like Camila was so far behind the entire time, but then she’s near done and then Laurel looks way behind. It looks like Laurel just gives up. I feel like I just want to see a standing still camera time lapse of both progress.
“Ugh, get the fuck out of here. I don’t give hugs!” TJ <3
EP 13: In todays saga of CBS all access being complete shit: The thumbnail spoils the winner of the guys elim. :/ So much for that cliffhanger...
I’ll be interested to see how this shakes out though. Darrell really seemed to come in looking strong as hell throughout this whole thing.
Uh...I think CT is breaking this challenge lmao This looks impossible to untangle.
Looks like Darrell tried to start copying CT’s method at one point.
TJ’s laugh at CT just hanging at the end lol
Will Darrel even be able to begin to unravel CT’s mess? Lol I can kind of see why the thumbnail spoils it because once you see it it’s kind of a forgone conclusion lol
CT looks pretty gassed though, I think Darrell would win this if CT didn’t outsmart the elim.
Yeah, CT broke that shit lol
“See that, little fatso! Dadda still kick your little ass!” Dad CT is the best.
I will really be shocked to see any of these underdogs winning over Camila and CT.
Besides Cory, I hate all the Underdogs left.
I especially hate Nelson and Andy Dick now that we’re sitting here having this inspirational team chat.
Smashley has just been a series of wanting to leave. Please, god, let her go.
I love watching CT love watching this drama that he’s no longer a part of lol He just loves sitting back and smiling at the chaos.
Don’t puff up Smashley’s damn head. Don’t encourage her!
The beds look better, but the outside of the normal house they left literally can’t be beat. They had an amazing pool, a beautiful deck area and pond? This place is lame compared to that.
I’m watching the challenge, I don’t need the spiritual self reflection bullshit.
Diem :(
OK, CT talking about his son giving him a reason to live and a reason to move on is really about to make me cry.
Three damn days? Really? Can we go the opposite way? Make it shorter, not longer? Lol Length doesn’t necessarily mean difficulty.
100k each? Bananas laughs with 275k...
Predictions: CT > Cory > Nelson Camila > Smashley > Andy Dick
EP 14: Do you want to just take the puzzle with us? It’s not that heavy. Holy shit, this chick is dumb hahaha
“Is there a triangle in the sign?” How are the camera crews not sitting there dying laughing?
How to they get the right number of triangles from the damn sign?!?! Hahaha They’re just trying to break the combo lock. These dumbass people. They get the right number of triangles and still fail.
They can’t even beat it when given the answer. Jesus christ. The producers are literally saying “Just go. Go.”
I don’t think I could understand the dumbness of Andy Dick and Cory.
TJ looks disappointed in having to tell them they’re correct lol
That’s all of day one?!?! Seriously? I don’t care what they say, these finals have become weak.
A different stray dog? Lol
I like the idea of the time buster. If you’re going to make these finals about combined times you might as well do more with that.
Horse urine fermented eggs...Really? Lol
Some times I feel like their safety restraints give them too much support when doing some of these balance type things. It’s like they can half rely on their support. Nelson is barely holding any ropes to keep reaching.
No, I don’t want to see CT struggle!
How the hell is the ASL chick the only one in the history of this show to say frustrated correctly lol
Nelson doesn’t seem to do well under pressure.
I think Smashley being able to gloat about anything is the worst possible outcome.
They solved it on the wrong post haha
“Hashtag Dad-bod” CT owning it.
Cory is a baby. He is like one hardship away from quitting.
The fear on Cory’s face when CT says he thinks it will be all night lmao He’s already miserable.
This chick and peanut butter…
Hahahaha TJ coming in saying “What the fuck?” and CT instantly running back to the beads is fucking hilarious. Calling them eating cans “partying” hahaha
“Tomorrows a new day” he says as the sky lightens behind him.
Andy Dick really seems like the worst partner on just about every leg of this final.
Camila makes all these guys look like bitch mode lol She’s constantly angry and she probably doesn’t make working with her easy, but every partner with her looks like the weak link.
The final solo segment is holding on to a bar and then swimming? I’m sorry, am I crazy? This final just seems weak.
If you would have put a puzzle at the bottom of those long ass stairs from the last underdog elim and the key to the puzzle at the top, it alone would have been harder than this final.
This last segment seems like it’s just a time to have each individual running so they can run back footage of their journey. It’s the torch walk of survivor lol
Two entire segments of the episode are dedicated to this individual montage and segment of the final. Ugh.
Cory is kind of a bum when it comes to these finals. Surprised Nelson beat him.
CT WIN!!! Dad Bod still has it!
I love CT laughing! “It’s going to be his new favorite toy, whether he likes it or not.”
I’m so tired of Nelson and Andy Dick and sad we will no doubt get more of them.
HOLY SHIT. SMASHLEY BEAT CAMILA. HOLY FUCK. That is the biggest shock in Challenge history for me. Wow, I’m speechless.
TJ trying to say they have to stay in the hut another night. Lol
EP 15: “The toughest final I have ever seen.” Oh shush
Miz looking a bit older.
Why does Cara look pissed with Andy Dick showing up? Lol
Damn, Laurel is possessive lol
CT and Johnny loving the drama haha
Laurel really seems to be making more of this than really should be. I feel like she’s always just looking for a reason to be mad at Cara.
CT doesn’t like “Finger banged” as a term lmao
Camila’s weird dancing in intimidation is a weird new thing…
Oh god, why did they bring Foosball on the reunion?!
Camila really has a thing for see-thru
Camila’s dancing does look really stupid lmao
Nelson is fucking annoying.
Nelson you have the blessing of Johnny fucking Bananas, sit down it doesn’t mean much.
Nelson is a dolt. Cory wouldn’t even be there without him haha
Nelson is really going to sit here and let second place go to his head this much? Fucker acts like he’s a king for getting second once! Lmao
Does Miz really have to relate everything to himself and being a WWE Superstar?
So wait, Johnny actually had something to do with Smashley first possible quit rant and it didn’t show Johnny’s involvement?
Is this like the third time Cara has worn these weird Deadpool tights on the reunions?
I kind of want to watch this Champs vs Stars spin off thing. Doesn’t seem like any of the spin-offs made it to CBS all access though.
Kailah definitely had the ugliest cry.
Overall thoughts and TL/DR: I actually liked this season. It at least had a decent level of competition, mostly due to splitting the strong vs the weak, and the challenges themselves were pretty good. I am not completely sure I understand the reasoning behind the breakdown of how the season was handled and how the format was decided, but I was fine cutting out a lot of rookies before getting to the actual game. The thing that I didn’t like and what the format did to the game, was that there was very little politics or strategizing. The votes didn’t really matter too much too often because the selection was so limited and the two teams never really intermingled in anything. It seemed about as purely challenge focused as you could get which made for it’s own kind of boring season. It was nice having a lot of these people back, but it was a bummer with the season not really feeling like a true challenge? If that makes sense. Also, as I've said: I feel like these finals have sucked. These finals just aren't the same things that they used to be. Sure they're longer, they have multiple days and grueling elements. But they're no longer a nightmare test of endurance and will. It's multiple sprints spread out through multiple days.
Please don’t bring back Foosball and Nelson.
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